dimund in da ruff
by nootril melk hotell
Summary: emylee moonshyne mooved form wiscunsin to calyforna. seh met a frend named toot bot den seh gut tooken by alyens!1 will seh fund troo loaf?
1. Chapter 1

My nam is emmilee moonshyne sparkel snuffleupagus jonson and am 18 yeers old. i hav lange cornsulk blund hare dat falls to mui waste and 1 eye dat is bloo and 1 eye dat is greene. i am avrige heit and hav a slunder body wif big bobs and cirvy hups. i used to live in wusconsin bot i wuz moovin to callyfornica in lus angels wif mi mom and dad. we weer guna liv in a big hous.

"heer we r" say mrs mom. t wuz a house wif door and roof. i gut my bags form da car.

"pick ur rum emulee" say mr. dad. weh all wint in da hous. it wuz rlly big.

"hullo" say sum1. "welcum"

weh all luk arund. i saw a rlly hot blund boi woo luked mui age wif bloo eyes. weh wuz so hot i gut an erucation in my nippels.

"my nam is toot" he say. "allow mee to show u arund"

toot gave us a tore bot i wuz alreddy so in loaf wif him. den he aksed meh wat mai nam wuz.

"i um emuley" say me.

"iz bootyful nam" say toot. he tuk us oopstares weer i plucked mai rum. i opned da clooset to pot my cloves in bot dere wuz a ded buddy! it wuz a teen gurl wif lung strait brown hare. she luked lik seh wuz verry prity wen seh wuz life.

"toot!" i yorkled. he cam into da rum.

"dafuk is dis" i sayed.

"dat is my old gf voylit" say toot.

"am surry seh dyed" i say.

"seh wuz betch" say toot. den sumthin crawled ot of vyelit mouf! it hus legz.

"itz al allen!11" yorkled toot. da alyen crawleded into my nuse.

"safe meh toot!1" i yappled. den i sawed a flush of light and everythang wuz blak.

i wooked up in a hosital bed. my hunds and feets were chayned.

"HULPPP!1111!" i screaked. a rlly tall old guy wif bald hare and a doktirs coat wulkd into da rum.

"sire u moost help me" i bug. "i dunt now werr i am"

"u r not goin anewere" say dr. "u r to b da next tist subjekt in muy expurrymints"

"wat" i say.

"da alyens hav chose u as da focus of dere hoomin encunters" say dr. "i hav to see if i cun summin dem"

"am i guna dye" say me.

"idk" say dr. "my nam is dr urden" he pot a werd hullmit on mai hed.

"u r guna fell a leetl tungle" he say. den da dur borst opin. it wuz...suster jood!1

"dr urden dafuk r u doin" seh say. she wuz old. seh wint to tak mai hullmit off bot dn mai hosital gowen flew of! i wuz werring a red corsit under.

"U R HORR!11" scorned dr urden and suster jood. dey nuke me out and curry me into celar.

"u moost hav HYDRASHOK" dey slurped. dey poosh me in showre and poor HUT WATRE all ovre me.

"it boorns!1!" i shrook as mui bobs storted to burn. dey poll meh ot of showre and hook wyres to meh. i crakle lik thundre wif electriksity.

"OMGGGGGGGG!" i scroach. shakespear wuz in da corner reedin da buble. "turn it up a leetl" he say.

"k" say suster jood. i storted to sissle moor.

"seh is guna blow" say dr urden.

"seese powre" say shakespeer. dey turnd off da powre and druged meh to a sell. da dur lucked. dere wuz a creapy guy masticating his peeniss next to meh.

"wats cookin good lukin" he say. i storted to ran bot he pot his poonus in mai urethra.

"ouchy" i say.

"WAT R U DOIN PERV" say a voic. i shited in happyness becuz it sunded lik toot. da rabist ran awai.

"toot?" i whumper.

"nam is nut toot" say guy. "mai nam is...KIT"


	2. Chapter 2

"weer r weh" i say to kite.

"we r in BRYACLIFF" say him. "dis is asslum for inshane peepl"

"y r u hear den" i say thinking kite didnt luk insand.

"da ALLYENS tuk muh wyfe bot evry1 thunk i kiled her" say kat teer flying don his check.

"am sury" i tweet. "r u guna git ot?"

"i wil git execushioned if try to escape" say kut.

den da dur open!1 it wuz suster jood again! seh garb kite and meh. she threwed us in her offyce. seh tuk a LUTHER CROPE form her drawre lik christ grey in 50 shaydes of gray. she polled off kites hosital gowne. he wuz werring star warz under were. den seh storted to beet him all ovre da butt checks!1 he yappled in payne.

"SUSTER JOOD WAT DA FUK R U DOIN!11" some1 scroached. a nun wulked in. seh wuz tall wif red eyez and blund hare.

"i am poonishing dis yung whippersnapper sistre maury yoonice" say suster jood.

"u r doin it rong" say murray yewnyce. den bat wingz grewed form her bak!1 her nun clook turnded into a cape! red fire shotted form her eyes and smook cam ot her mouf.

"i am mury eunise da bat man!1" she yielded. she shoot LAZZER BEEMS all ovre kite and into hiz bothole!

"STUP!" i yorkled. bot syster mari oonice blow smook in mai vagini!

"roon!1" yodeled kite. he garbed meh and weh shote ot of offyce. shakespear wuz throwing bubles at us. suster jew wuz ridin on suster murray batman yewnice.

"CATCH DEM REBLES!1!" shreked sistre jew. den a banuna hit her in da face!1 a lady wif browne har was shitin on da ceeling throwing banananas!

"it is lana boonana!11!" crocked kite. weh all ran oat da dure in da nik oaf tyme.

"thank u fur helpin us mis lana bunana" i say. bot seh wuz makin ot wif sum nymfo named shully becuz she wuz plebian.

"weer shall weh goat now?1" i aksed to ket. den sumthin form da shadowz garb him and gubble him up!1

"NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" i explod. sum of kite's armz and feet fall on da grund. den a blund ladi appurr!1 seh luked a leetl lik sustir maury eunyse bot her hare wuz curdly. seh luked a leetl lik steefy nikes too.

"can u hulp me?1" i queepled.

"shure" seh say. "i cun bring ur frend bak to lyfe bot weh hav to goo to knew orlins"

i pik up kites buddy and garb da ladys arm and seh tellyport to noo oorlins. dere wuz a flush of lit and weh full in a swump.

"i am moisty" say da lady. "i am a which"

weh wulk into a shak. musty pot kites buddy on a tabel. seh pot mood all ovre him and powdre and sayed spool and he woked up!

"i am tayler shorp!1" he yorkled. "i loaf you steefy niks!1"

"um no u r kite" i say. "and i am nut steevy necks"

den tailor storted to cry. he luk skizzors and joomped on meh and cutted off all mui long flewing blund hare! he stapel it to hiz hed.

"I AM STEEFY NIKS!11" he anunced. he flewed ot da winder like a white winged dove.

i cryed sink i wuz buld lik a cuncer pashent. taylir ringz lik a bell thru da nite.


	3. Chapter 3

tailor wuz flyin thru da skye wif his lange blund hare. den it gotted all tungled in a tellyfone pole!1

"fukkkkkkkkkkl!111" he quackled as he storted to sissle wif eletrikshitty. den he plumit to grund.

wen he woked up he wuz in a durk smully bus in a cayge. a klown cam out of da shados.

"exsqueeze meh sir u moost hulp me" say tayler.

"u r to b muh new jigglypuff" say da clown woo had nu mouf. he taked off his durty smely costum. his poonis wuz mad out of nifes. den he stubbed it into tailers butt strait thru his punts!1

"omg" say tielor. den da klown putted a baseball bat in his boot to! taylir scroached. dey rapped all nite lange. butt den dere wuz a big flush of lite and da klown ran awai! tailer runned to da hosital.

"exsqueeze meh sir" he say. "i gut rapped in da boothole" den he falled ogre in payne.

"omgggggg!" he yorkled. dere wuz sumthin coomin out hiz butt!

"TAYke him to labir and doolivery" say da doktir. all da nirses and drs loked at tailors butt and sawed a HEAD cumin out!

"HI" it sayed.

"its joost a head" say dr. "u can gu home tu morrow"

tailor wuz ovrenite in da hospitul wif his new buthead. it keeped on singing cuntry sungs.

"plz staph :(" he say.

"im guna be gareth bruks" it sayed bak.

dey wint hum next mornin wif da butthead werrin a leetl pink beau.

"whoa dere frend u mite need to slow down" sayed a germin voyce. he turnded arund.

"i am da ladi form da frockshow" seh sayed. "peepl wunt to see ur incrudibel butthed"

"um k" say tailer. heh gut in da ladys cur and too freekshore dey go. taylers butthead keeped on yorkling at evry1 so dey hud to pot a ballgag in him. latre dat nite toylit and hiz butthead singed feeona appel bot da butthead fell out!1 he wuz a handsum yung man.

"mi nam is dondy!" he anunced. den he run awai nekkid. he and jiminy da lubster boi storted to mak out wile moo petit record it.

"dafuk" say emulee wulkin in.

tailor gapsed.


	4. Chapter 4

evry1 stareded in shok wen emulee wulked into da frockshow.

"i cun explane" sayed tayler. bot den enemalee storted to rumbel lyke da skye b4 a thundre strom. her eyez turnded orunge and fyre cam out off hers ears! her mouf strooched open as wyde as a gr8 wale's wen it wuz eatin skools of fush. shorp fangz grewed form her teef. sumthin wuz cumin out of her throt!

"KRAKATOWA!1" cam a deep yorklin voyce form da bak of emuleighs throt! a shurt leetl blund gurl cam flyin ot of her mouf.

"ME SIDKNEE!" seh yappled passively. seh stryke a passe lik a samuray.

"omg its bean too lung" sayed tutlor as he and soodney huged.

sidknee luked at hem lik seh wunted to kiss him bot seh opned her mouf and suked tutlor insyd!

"itz a sukabus!1" yorkled emileigh.

"k evry1 weh moost travil into sidnee da sucaboo's bellie to retreev tailor" sayed ursula in her germin aksint. "we r to ejekt emulee into sidnoos vahini becuz dat is were tyelor will be traped. dere will be blud and all kynds of booby (lol) trapes"

her medgit survints roled in a big ol canon. olsa raped emulee in duk tap and boobl rap. seh clam into da canin.

"r u reddy" say oldsa.

"YEEEAAAAHHHHH!11" laughfled emulee. jiminy dezeray and da twens were all sittin neerby eatin pupcurn.

"prepuce 4 takoff" sayed ulsa. seh did cuntdown and emeelee wint flyin!

"eggscelent" say elsuh.

emehlee wint into sidnes vahena as olsa nocked her out.

"HULLPPPP!1" yorkled tailor form a cayge in da virginia. bot den dere wuz a big roombel.

"I BE STOONLEE, DA PORNTEKTER OF DA VAGINI" a voyce gorpmoed. da guy wif a mousestashe cam waddlin ot of da shaydows. he wuz tall and thin bot hiz poonis wuz as tall ass da empyre stayte buildin and wuz wade as a hipo. emiley culdnt sea anythang cuz stonleys poonis wuz so big.

"ITS GINOURMOUS" seh scremmed.

"fuk wer all ot of popcorne" say dote.

"weer ot of hear" say dooziree. dey all wulk awai.

"fuk" say elsa.

emileigh wuz starrin at stanlees lung duk dong. it storted to shoot lazir! den stanloo storted to bunce on his massiv thorbing man orgin lyke tigger.

"DA WUNDREFULL THANG ABOOT STONELEY IZ HIZ MASSIV DONG" yielded stanlee.

emulee tryed to run bot stanleigh nocked her ot wif 1 swent of his poonis.

"mishin abort mishin abort" say ulsa.

"IM DYINNNNNNN" shreked emlee.

"GAIZ I NED UR HULP" yorkel elsu. dezuray da twens and jiminy all cam runnin wif DA TRANSFUHRER custum.

"GIT INSYDE" demood eelsa. evry1 cloom insyde da tranzfuhrer costum. itses wengs shoted ate and it flyed in seednees vagini. bot den it runned oat of gas! so dezirey hud to prople her 3rd boop and mak da transfuhrer spen insayne lyke a wherlpool. it flewed lik a turdnado and sended stanknee ovre da whoreizon! hiz pens fell down in leetl pisces lik confetty.

"WE R SAVVED!1" yapple tayler and emileigh. dey all clamb out of da vagini. bot dondy wuz standin dere sexily covred in blud holdin nife...


	5. Chapter 5

dondy wuz nekkid wen evry1 luked beehive demselfs to see. he hud sex pak abz. den he unzapped a zupper don his bak. a bludy man wif sken stepdad out! he hud blak hare and bigass eyeborws. it wuz oolivre dr threadson bludy fayce!

"I AM OLLYVER DOKTIR THREESIN BLODY FAYCE!1" he yorkled.

emmalee storted to ran awai bot olever wacked her in da hed wif a brik.

"well fuk" sayed kit "ef u r guna tayke emulee to ur crepe dunginn id totelly go 2 bryaclit and atone 4 muh sinz"

"kewl can i cum" say emilee.

"akshully i wuz hoppin yew wuld go 2 buyacliff to saff evry1 form satin" say ollyver.

"shure thang" say kite. "any uddr reqwests?"

"a new mom" say aloevera as a teer slided dawn his check.

"no cun do i apollygize" say emalee. olaver traipse away yorkling in sad.

"k now wee ned a thyme mashen" say kite. one cam ot of da grund. he and emmahlee clam insyde.

"tim masheen tyme masheen tak us 2 da bryacluff" say bath sayed.

"lets go on a gurney a gurney thru time tyme is changin all da tyme itz thyme to go 2 tym" it singded and den dey weer in broorclif agayne!

"HIIIIIIII!11" dey say.

"INTREEDERS!1" say da alarmz. sum gourds cam and pot kit and emuleigh in straitjakets.

"wat r u dong kit" say gourd.

"saffing hoomunity" he say.

"k" den say gourd. den he nocked kyte and emuloo out.

dey wocked up in a small rum dunjim. suster jew murray yewnice and shakspear were dere.

"HIIIIIIII!11" sayed kite and emalee.

"wat wer u doin u repulsive harpys" say shakypear.

"dude ur eyelashes are langer dan snuffelupaguses" say emulee wich is truf.

"we r tryin to saff da wurld form sestra mory satin eunyce" say kit. den maury oonice storted to tranzfirm in2 dragin agayne.

"IF U DISTROY MEH I SHULL RAP U" seh scroach.

"run imo" say kit.


	6. Chapter 6

seester maury younice storted to grow dragin wingz out of angre and furry. her blu eyez turnded red and flushed da colur of blud.

"MOOOOOOOO!1" seh yackled. "GUNA HAV A LITTEL SLIPPI" seh storted to flop her wingz rlly fast and mad a turdnado. a bunch of leetl verizons of her wif divil hornys and blund hare storted to bunce on pogo stiks arund her lik da heet miser.

insyde da turdnado wuz da gaits of heel. all da tinny pogostik murray yewnices storted to fly arund lik a swarme of angre bees. da real ass mari oonice crakled lik thundre. shakyspeer throwed a buble at her hed. it falled in her mucus membrane. den jedidiah jeremiah jackson justin james joseph jimbob johnny johan jennifer jesus cam ot of murray euclid.

"CHILDEN" dey rumpled. "CUM WIF US" dey reeched dawn and pot seester jood shakypear kat and emulee in dere placenta shack.

"JIM BOB DUGIR HAD SUM KIDS J-I-J-I-O" say maury.

"weer we goin" say kat.

"itz a birfday parti darlin weh luv u very very very very very very very much" say duggartron 666.

insyde sestra marry eunise a insinarator cam out of her bely. fyres were evrywher. insid da fuhr cam misheel dugir shootin babbys ot of her vagini. den doktir urdin apeared out of insinaratorR!1

"MERRY OONICE!" he crakled. "U HAV BROKED MUY HART" he wipped ot a pikachu of mari eunecy and shakyspeer havin sex.

"do not remimber" say mury yewnyce bot was gutly.

"R U A RABBI RAPIST" say all da dugirs.

"my bad" say merri younyce.

"u culdve gottin meh pregnit" say shokespeer.

da dugirs storted to drug murray ounice to hell.

"RABBITS RABBITS RABBITS" dey all chunted. as murry eunyce burnded in hell taylir shorp rosed out of da asses lik a feenix.

"POT ON UR HABITS" he yorkled pottin on a habib like a nun. tailor becum new murray yooniece.


	7. Chapter 7

tuler wuz rlly injoyin his lif as a nun. he died his hare blund and tuk vittamyns to mak it gro long kwickly. evry1 thot he wuz murray yewnice bot wif a poonis becuz seh wuz satin so seh culd do dat shit. bot toolirt akshully wunted to git a sex chunge opera lik broose junner so he culd be a nun 5ever.

1 day he wint dontown 2 doktir urdin lab.

"well well well yung madim wat bring u hare on dis loovely dai" say dr ardin.

"listen up doc" say toolyr. "u may think i am sester maury eunise bot am akshully not. i am man." he polled down his punts and tuk out his gigglestick. doktir urdin gapsed lik da awdeeince on an episewed of da jery sprunger show wen da striper say seh is tranny.

"i ned u to remoov my mail jennytales and mak meh a vahoona so i can be a nin 4 forever and evre" say taytay.

"can do" say doctir ardin. "1st weh moost smook a bowl of reffer"he tuk 1 out and a hookah. tayler smookd so much reffer dat he wuz stoneded as fuk lik da band mimbers of annymale collectife. den he falld ovre.

"seamen staynes da mountintops" he wispered. den jeff mango apeared.

"i wuz summined" He say "i heer dat ann frunk now life in bryacliff. i am destiny 2 murray her"

"dood u an to purrform a sex chang operashun &amp; den u anf ann frunk can git marryed"

"k kewl" say jeff mango. He used His rad hipster powres 2 mak a weddin ring ot of then air for Him and ann frank. den docktir ardin tak don a jar wif an yewterus and fappolian toobes and overies and stik his hand in2 taylirs boothole. he steeple all da lady parts togetta and stik da HOLE THING in2 da rektum. den he use big-ass furceps 2 widden tailor rektil walls in2 a birf canal. he opned his ladi parts drawr and tak out da inner libya and otter libya and cloterus. h gloo dem all to tailers buthole. finully he mac a vaheen hole. tayler wuz now a womin.

"here is ur poonis ass a sueveneer" say dr ardin chopin it off and giving it 2 toolier. seh smell happly.

"HULP HULP!1" sudinly yorkle jeff mango. He wuz gettin abdicated by allyens!

"heh it tickels" He say. den da alliens garb toyler and dr ardyn. dey git suked in spay ship.

"WE NED UR SEAMIN JEFF MANGO" dey rumbel.

"plz dis is new not secksy" He say "how strunge it is 2 bee anythang at all"

den da allyens garbed da king of carat flowerers and used MIND POWRES to throw Him 2 a bed.

"dafuk" say tailor.

"plz dis is so rung D: "say jeff mango.

"EXTRAKT DA SEMIN" say 500 ailyens. dey all reech into His trouzers.

"plz dunt lern wat mai boddy is 4" say juff. dere wuz a flask of light and den da alyens tak a bottel full of soomin out of jeff mango pants. he luked lik ._. . den da allyens poor da soomin in2 tailer vageen! seh got pargnit wif juff mangos babby!

"eggscellent" say dr urdin.


	8. Chapter 8

"OMGGGG DA BABBYS ARE CUMIN" yorkled dictator ardin as he careyed tailer thru da hells of brierclif. it wuz a wek sinse he guy pargnit thru juff mango semin. he didnut git a chanse to tak ESTHERGIN so evry1 thot he wuz stel a man. his voyce wuz veri depp two and he ud no bobs to brest feed bot he had a hooge belli. he wuz guna have TRUPLITS.

"pot him rite here" say sistre jewd. loona banana wuz dere to, writin an artiecil for da noospooper about da man wif a vajeen havin jeff mangos truplets. jeff mango wuz cryin wif joy as tutlor give birf 2 His babbys.

"its bootiful" He wispered.

"fuk here cums da 1st won" sat doktir ardin. sooster jood and shakypear were lik y da fuk is dis happinin.

"BLURGH" gaggle tailor as amniotic flooid and moocus plug shooted out of hiz boothole. den a babby cam flyin thru da ayre lik a porjektile. jeff mango cot it.

"it is a gurl" He say.

he puss her to her mom tailer woo eminemtly regorgeitate fewd lik a burd feedin ites chiks sinse he hud no bewbs.

"her nam shull be...ROSE" tacklor enunciate.

"ok dat nam is rlly basik" say docter airdin. den moor gross birf flewids scwirt out of tailor moist swollin buthoel. a hed storted to cum out lik my borther when he hus bowil ishues and he is sittin on da toylit and he storts poping and da tird gits stuk hafway and our mom has 2 cum wif da jaws of lyfe and poll da tird out of his but whale he screm in aginy.

"ITS HUGH" he scroach.

"u ned to poosh tulir" arder doctir orden.

"DAMMIT I AM" yapple tooler angrilly. he pooshed wif all hiz mite and his anis turn insyd out bot den da babby cam out!1

"sup" it sayed.

"its boy" say juff mango. He feeded His son tomatos and raydio wyres.

"hiz nam is wallace" say tuylor.

"u gut 1 moor taytay" say dr groper. tailyr tryded to poosh bot his ass storted bludin nasti.

"fuk" say urden. "do not poosh anymoar. i whale half 2 reech don ur throak to remoov da babby to pervent animoar anil tearin" toylar nuded. doktir ardin pot a gloaf on his hand and stuk it don tayylor throt. his mouf was as wyde as his buthowl cuz wen he gut his operashun to turn in2 a womin doctir orden assidentally coonected his repornduktive and dijestive cisterns so he culd give birf thru his mouf and excrete fleeces form his vajeen. den doctir orden pooled da lust babby out of toylars mouf! it wuz a gurl.

"dis1 is goldaline" anunce toyer. rose and wallace and goldaline weer awol sukling form doktir orden.

it wuz a big happy foomily.


	9. Chapter 9

aftre toylo birfed to his dotters and sun rose wallace and goldaline stanleigh and dondy where spyin on da foomily wif a sirveillance camora.

"we gotta git dose babbys" say stoonley.

"we can shell dem 2 da freek moosem cuz dey cam ot of a man wif a buthol vajeen and git da big buks" say dondy.

"k heer is da plane" say stanlee. "u go 2 bryaclif and say da reportre and hold 1 of da babbys amd weh pot a roop in da winder and poll u in wif babby"

"sounds gud" say dondy. "and den i can go bak lyke a week latter 2 git da udder 2" he snurgle.

so dondy pot on his bust soot and combdid his hare and drooved to bryaclit wif stinlee. stanloo hided udder da winder and uzed his MASSIV DONG as a tripod 4 hiz camra so he wuld know wen to git dondy and da babby.

a nun and dandee walk 2 da mooternity word.

"dis gentelmin is heer 2 git a stoory 4 da noospooper" say da nun.

"fuk i alreddy did dat" sat luna banana boot no 1 listen 2 her.

"well helo dere sir" say tayler "u r verry handsum"

"tank u" say dandie smelin. "can i tak sum pikshures"

"shur thang" say tootlor. so dandy taked sum picures.

"do u wunt 2 hold wallace" say tealor holdin him out.

"u r soup kind" say dondy takin da babby. den stonleigh's massiv dong shooted thru da winder lyke a lizurd catchin a fly on his tung. it wuz holdin a roop! it raped arund dandee and wallace and polled dem thru da wingo!

"CATCH DAT DANDY" shrek tailor. stanlee's poonis wuz a myle in da air. toolyr joomped wif all his myte and garbed stonle's test tickles witch weer da size of a celestial body. tooler stortid clombing da poonis lik jak and da beenstalk. den it storted to kik up and dawn lik a bukin bronko. tailer neerly fall oaf! bot he klept on climin Stan Lee's poonis!

"I WON'T LET U GIT AWAI WIF DIS DANDEE!1!" he scroach. dandy and wallace hyde under da fourskin. den it storted to rayne and a lightnin bolt struk da poonis!1 it crakled wif elektrisity and fly in2 da sky!

dey were now in OTTER SPAYCE.


	10. Chapter 10

"omg y r weh in spayce" say dondee. He and tailer and baby wallace werr all in spase on stanleigh's pnis. Den teylor garb wallace and joomp on 2 da planit joopiter!1

"joopiter joopiter plz tayke meh to joopiter flo rida" he say. da planit growed wings and storted 2 fly away. dandie tak off all of his cloaf so he wuz nekkid, and tuk a HOOG FLYING LEEP thru spayce lik a scwirl joompin form branch to brunch on a tree! bot wen he landed on da planit joopiter he assidentilly falled in tailyr's boothole/vajeen witch wuz rlly strutchy and wide lik a rubber grund canyin.

"OMG HELP!11!" yorkle dandi form insyd taytay buthowl witch wuz moist and soggy and squishy. quackly he taked out his walky talky and sended out an sos.

"plz send hulp" he say. "I am traped in a butt"

sistre jood piked up da fone.

"woo is dis hooligan" she say.

"am dandee" he say. den tayler storted to have an attack form crohn's disees in his inestines! da bowils storted to rumbell lyke da fr8 trayne. slowlee tailors excramint storted to flud in da anus canal lyke a water park ryde weer da water fountain squrt water all over da slyde and mayke evrythang sluppery.

"OMG DA FEESES R CUMIN DA FEESES R CUMIN" shrek dondee.

"k we r cumin" say seester jew. she and shakespeare joomp on dere moojical flyin bublé and shoot in2 spayce.

"INCOMING INCOMING BEEP BEEP" say da bublémobile in da spase traffik.

"see u spayce cowboys" say a spase hobo.

da magikal flyin bublémobile land on joopiteer. dandee storted to suffakate insyd da churning brown hell dat wuz taylers buthowl kinda lyke a box of choklit ise creem wen muy mom leeves it in da kar in 90 decree wether and my dad trys to eat it even do it is runny and mushy lik crohn desease dierea cuz he is stooped.

dondies feet weer stikin ot of tailors buthol. he wuz pased ot form payne.

"wat da fuk its a babby" say shakespeare pikin up wallace. suster jew tapped da babby 2 hiz chest lik on da hangover. den dey all garb dondees legs and poll him ot of da buthowl. a river of toylers poo flowed out aftre him and reeked of fish and cat piss. dandy wuz coovered in shitbrown.

"blurgh" he say as drappings gurgle out his mouf. "hi" he say.

den tailor woked up. shakespeare throwed him in hiz portable boptism tub.

"yall ned jeezus" he sayed.

den tylors hed pooped out of da holey water and ahmazin grayce played.

"I am now a brudder of da lawd" he anunce.

amen.


	11. Chapter 11

tailer decyded 2 becum a michonneary and spred da teechings of his lawd jeezus crust all thru out da nayborhud.

"exsqueeze meh madim or sir" he say ringin da durnawb 2 a hous. da door openinged. it wuz mishelle dugar!

"surprise bitch" she say. "i bette u thot yewd seen da last of me"

"can i cum in" say tooler.

"shure thang" say moochelle dugar. in da hous there werr half-nekkid dirty chillun humpin da floorboards and collaring on da wall wif sharpys and wipping dere butts on da curpit lyke muy dog wen his anal glands r impacted.

"hello visiter" say josh jana john-david jill jessa JINGER joseph josiah joy-anna jedidiah jeremiah justin james jason jackson jennifer johannah jordyn and josie.

"yeehaw" say jimbob.

"WEIGHT" say moochelle. "U R UNHOLY SPAWN" seh pooled don tailyrs pants revelling his VAGINI.

"gasp" say josh jana john-david jill jessa JINGER joseph josiah joy-anna jedidiah jeremiah justin james jason jackson jennifer johannah jordyn and josie.

den da ruff caved in. it wuz a dragin wif lange blund hare.

"U KNOW WOO I AM" it rumpled.

"RUN CHILLUN IT IS MURY YEWNISE" yumpled jimbob. all da chillun storted 2 run awai leeving poodles of feeces evrywhal. mary yoonice wuz sittin on da dragin now like the whore of babylon riding the beast of revelation.

"DUGIRS" seh slurpeed. "GIVE 2 MEH UR BUBLES"

josh jana jimmy jude john-david JINGER johnny jamal jeffrey jeremy jacob jemima josephine and jeraldine all pulled bubbles out oaf dere butholls and vajimbobs.

"vurry good' cocke marry oonice. den seh yeat da bubles.

"MOOR" seh demoond. jezebel jasper jehoshaphat jessica julio jalopy jetta jigger jose juturna joaquin jerusha and jarvis excrete ALL DA BUBLES in da in da oonaverse form dere pores. den sester mari yewkneechee breefed dyre all ovre dem.

"DA BUBLE IZ BLUND DA TORAH DEF DA QURAN IZ MOOT" seh anunce.

"STUP DIZ AT ONCE" yorkle a voyce. it wuz jeezus!


	12. Chapter 12

jeezus swallered all da dugirs in2 hiz mouf and poofed bak in2 da clawds.

"gaiz u moost hulp meh" say sestra murray eunise. "i am akshully posesed buoy da deviled"

"well doh" say taylar. den doktir olafer thredsin bludy fayce apear form behund a whale. he hud big eybrows.

"i can hulp" say he.

"go da fuk awai oliver rappist and a nekrofiliak" say tooler.

"bot i can remoov devel form mari yewnice" say oléver.

"no exraskisms" say taylir. "if u atempt 2 exercise her seh will rap u"

"letz go 2 muy hous" say olyver and tailer and murray unise all git in2 his car and drife 2 ellavir hous.

"fuk it smels lik ded budys in here" say toolir.

"k 1st in udder 2 git rid of da deevil weh moost use garlick" say holavir. he tak garlik out of his cuppbird and throw it at murray.

"now weh ned 2 plug all oaf her orifices so da devil will be traped and parish" say olliever.

"u r not going 2 stik anythang up her privets" say tailor angirly becuz he wuz a genteelmin.

"weh juice ned 2 plug her noose and ears and mouf" say olaver stikin cottin ballz in da aforementioned orifices. "now weh need 2 wrape her in bublé rap" he gut a roll of bubel wrap and rolled maury in it untell seh was snug as a bug in a rug.

"NOW SEH GO OVER FYRE PIT" yorkle ollivre as thundre crockled outsyde.

dey builded a firepit in da loafing rum. dey pot murry yewnice on a bed kinda lyke a roastin spit lik in da cannybill holocust. den dey gut a sooda bottel and pot it ovre her belli buttin cuz dat wuz weer da defil wuld cum out. den dey setted da fyre on fire. maury yewnice storted 2 melt lik da baddest witch in town in da wuzard oaf oz.

"throw sum ice watre on her tatlor" say olaver and tootler pored ise walter on her lyke da 2014 ice bukkit chalange.

"fuk" seh rumpled.

"poosh poosh" say olafyr. "da devel iz cumin oat"

"IT BURNZ!" scroached muri. den ladi goga rised oat of da fyre pit lyke a feenix rosing oat of da ashes. leetl clones of her werring meet dreses werr bunchin on poggo stiks arund her lyke da heet moser.

"ON A DURK DESSERT HIGH WAY KEWL WIND IN MUI HARE DA WARM SMEL OAF KOLITAS RISIN UP TRU DA AIR" seh yorkle.

"ITZ SATTIN'' oléver say bot lady gogo storted 2 blow up big so seh culdn't fit in da soda bottel.

"UP AHED IN DA DISTINSE I SAWED A SHIMERIN LITE MUI HED GROWED HEVVY AND MUI SITE GROWED DUM I HUD 2 STUP 4 DA NITE" seh sunged and den allz her minyins storted singin 2.

"DERE SEH STUD IN DA DURWAY I HERD DA MICHONNE BEL I WUZ TINKIN 2 MUYSELF DAT DIS CULD BEE HEVVIN OR DIS CULD BE HELL"

"DEN SEH LIT UP A KENDALL AND SEH SHOWD MEH DA WAY DERE WERR VOYCES DON DA KORRIDOR IN THOT I HERD DEM SAY" sing evry1. "WELCUM 2 DA HOTELL CALLYFORNYA"

den lody gaga drag mury eunis and olaver and tailor in fireput.

dey just cant kill da beest. :(


	13. Chapter 13

don in da fyre pit it wuz rlly burnin hot. lody gaga wuz sittin on a thrown mad out oaf spykes whale all of her leetl minyins keeped on singin.

"HER MYND IS TIFINY TWISTY SEH GOT A MURSADIES BENS SEH GUT A LOT OAF PURDY PURDY BOYS DAT SEH CALLZ FRENDZ"

"HOW 2 DUNCE IN DA CUNTYARD SWEAT SUMIR SWEAT SUM DANSE 2 REMIMBRE SUM DUNCE 2 FORGIT" sing tailyr becuz he thot if dey all singed ladi goga wuld hav murcy on dem. "SO I CULLED UP DA CAPTIN PLZ BRING MEH MUY WHINE AND HEH SAYED WEH HAVINT HAD DAT SPIRET HERR SINSE NINTEN SEXTY NYNE AND STILL DOSE VOYCES WERR CALLIN FORM FAR AWAI WHACK U UP IN DA MIDEL OF DA NITE JUST 2 HEER DEM SAY" evry1 wuz singin now cuz y da fuk not,

"WELCUM 2 DA HOTELL CALLYFORNICA SUCK A LOAFLY PLAYCE SUCH A LOAFLY FAYCE PLUNTY OAF RUM AT DA HOTIL CAULIFLOWER WAT A NYCE SOORPRIZE BRING UR ALLYBYES"

"MURIRS ON DA CEELING PUNK SHAMPAIN ON ISE AND SEH SAYED WE R ALL JUST PRISINERS HERR OAF R OWN DEVYCE AND IN DA MASTRES CHAMBLERS DEY GATHERED 4 DA FEEST DEY STUB IT WITH DERE STELY NIFES BOT DEY JUST CUNT KILL DA BEEST" evry1 yorkle. "LUST THANG I REMIMBRE I WUZ RUNNIN 4 DA DUR I HUD 2 FYND DA PASIGE BAK 2 DA PLAYSE I WUZ B4 RELACKS SAID DA NITE MAN WEH R PROGRAMED 2 RECEEV U CAN CHECK OUT ANYTIME YOU LIKE BUT YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE"

see u fukers on october 7th.


End file.
